The Guiding Principles of Reality for Kids™

1. There is only One Reality and thatʼs the way things are right now. We befriend Reality by looking for what it can offer us.

2. Our happy and unhappy thoughts cause our feelings. Blame and unhappy thoughts keep us on the Unhappy Kid Triangle. Happy thoughts move us to the Happy Kid Triangle.

3. When we separate ourselves from another by judging them we turn them into an enemy who we must resist. The more we push against them, the more they push back. Resisting Reality creates misery.

4. Our unhappy thoughts become an unhappy story we believe about ourselves and others that we act out repeatedly in our search for evidence that proves it.

5. How we feel about and treat ourselves is how others learn to treat us. In this way,
they mirror to us (show us) the unhappy story we believe about ourselves and the world around us.

6. When we believe our thoughts, we feel and act as if what we think is true which causes us to act in ways that end up proving us right. This is called the Reality Formula: “we believe it, we feel it, we react out of it, and we prove it.”

7. What we give our attention to grows or increases and what we ignore decreases or gets smaller. We get to choose whether to focus on unhappy thoughts and increase the negative or to focus on happy things that we want to see more of.

8. When we believe others should be different than they are we make ourselves unhappy by trying to change or control them into being how who we think they should be. The way they are is not our business and when we get in their business, everyone is unhappy.

9. When we believe an unhappy story about ourselves, we deny it, and then look for it in others, and blame them for being and doing what we ourselves are doing and being. This is called projection.

10. Taking responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions and letting others be responsible for their thoughts, feelings, and actions allows us to be Happy Kids living at peace with Reality.